This Week Has Just Got My Nerves Crazy

This has been a rough week on my heart. I am starting to realize that my baby not wanting to take dance bothers me more because she is just growing up. I don't want to see dance as just a memory. School also starts back tomorrow and I feel like it just went by way too fast and that I should have done more with the kids over the break. Ella is going into the 4th grade, it is just killing me. They are letting them have lockers now, change classes, etc. They will be just big kids, except I don't want her being a big kid. I'm not ready to let her grow up yet. I have 4 kids and it gets harder with each one. I feel so much guilt. I feel like I didn't do enough, enjoy enough, stay patient enough, etc. When they're born you feel like you have so much time, but then you turn around and they're half grown, making their own decisions and having their own likes and dislikes that are so different than what you planned for them. Hopefully after these first couple of days of school, I'll start adjusting better. I get like this on certain milestones my kids have. Too bad we can't keep them smaller longer and let them grow up when we're ready.
   Another milestone happened yesterday too...my youngest son got his permit. He is one happy boy!! He had him a summer job so I wasn't able to get it as he was always gone. Yesterday, around lunch, he asked me when were we going to get it so we left and went and got it :) I had already been thinking about it because school starts tomorrow and I knew we needed to get it done. He drove us hone from Jacksonville, over the mountain and did really good. Then he drove us to my daughter's school orientation. I'm really proud of him. Now, if we can slow time down so he isn't getting his license too quick. I'm not ready for that yet....at all. He's going to be the one that keeps me up at night waiting for him to come home.